More Coffee: Routine

Sitting here at a coffee shop in my neighborhood, I'm forced to come to terms with how new everything is for me. The shop is named "Routine," something that I've yet to establish for myself in my new home.  

As of right now, I'm sleeping in the living room with my bags and guitars strewn about the place. I unpacked my bath towel this morning to take a shower, and when I was dry, I negotiated a small unclaimed section of the shower door on which to hang it. 

Im wearing these pants that are sort of challenging. They're loose and baggy. Not my style traditionally, but I know that they're cool. At the same time I just about cannot handle wearing them. I feel as though I'm aiming to be someone else. I've always believed, somewhat subconsciously, that humans must change in a rational progression observable phases occurring. 

If I'm going to start wearing giant baggy pants, I must first wear a series of slightly looser pants until I finally reach this ultimate stage of baginness. But for whom am I delaying change? Why not be who I want now? Why not be who I am?