Day 5: Santa Fe

Why is it so hard to keep your head up? It seems like every uplifting occurrence in my life, every reminder I receive to keep pushing forward is, shorty after, accompanied by some reason to feel defeated. Spinning your tires in the mud. The funny thing is, when I can zoom out, the things that bring me down are so small, so much less powerful than the experiences that bring me back up.

I'm sitting in some touristy restaurant in Santa Fe, New Mexico. I just had the hardest time finding the magic combination of coffee and internet. My friend doesn't have internet in his home (which he's basically squatting in) because he likes paying "zero." I ventured out to find a place to sit and work. Yelp led me to a coffee stand that didn't have internet or seating, but I had already paid $2 for parking and I was determined not to let that investment go to waste.

At this point I wasn't exactly defeated, but I was starting to feel that way. Why couldn't I find the stereotypical coffee shop a la Friends or Frasier or other famous sitcoms that start with the letter F?  I walked into the El Dorado hotel, burning with the feeling that I didn't belong after being coldly rejected when attempting to book a show there a few weeks ago. After a few steps into their restaurant, I figured they didn't really want me typing away on my ancient computer in the corner of their "Fine Dining" establishment. I asked the doorman for advice regarding my dilemma and he pointed me across the street to The Hilton. 

For a moment it all seemed so simple. I hadn't really asked for help until now, of course its this easy to get a coffee and take advantage of some good old fashioned wifi. I ended up paying $4 for a large cup of heavily branded Starbucks Coffee. I was willing to accept this as a sacrifice in order to receive my much needed divine connectivity. Of course, its never as easy as you expect it to be, but I was still surprised that I was prompted to pay $10 to get some internet. I wasn't a guest after all. 

I sat in what was, at that moment, my least favorite restaurant in the world staring at the screen. I really didn't know what to do. The woman who helped me receive what they called coffee asked if I was doing ok and I said I was, but I wasn't. I just wanted to crawl back into the pallet my friend made for me back at his house on his hard tile floor, and dream of a world that had the internet.

Of course the story has a happy ending. After all, I'm here writing you now at The Blue Corn Cafe in Santa Fe. Like a weary traveler, I wandered up to the host here at "The Corn" and asked, "do you have... the internet?"